My not-so-sweet-Valentine

Happy (single) Valentines Day – AGAIN!

I’m 31 years old and can’t remember the last time someone gave me flowers for valentines. I can’t remember because it’s never happened.

Now I have been in two major relationships with two equally awful people in their own twisted ways. The second rather short and sudden one is the story of Seth.

About two weeks ago, I had popped along to my local Card Factory to buy one of my friend’s a birthday card. Seth and I had been invited to go bowling with a bunch of close friends, I was actually pretty excited to seeing everyone all together. While in the shop I was assaulted with all the obscene amount of Valentine’s Day shite on display. I mean it’s great if you have someone special but do you know that people are so lonely that UK now has a Loneliness Strategy!!!

But not to worry, this year is going to be different I had thought to myself. I have Seth and I cannot wait to spend time with him. My idea was for the two of us to get something nice from the supermarket and then come back to mine and have wine and candle-lit dinner. I didn’t actually want flowers – I think it’s crazy what they charge for flowers that will be sold for £2 the next day. But just this once, I wanted to feel loved. That there was another person out there who wanted to spend the time with me as I had with him.

So… I jinxed my luck and picked up a cute and only semi-cheesy valentines day card. Here it is folks…

Of course before I could give this to Seth and have my first amazing Valentine’s day…I had kicked him out of my flat in the middle of the night shortly after buying this card. So he will never get to see it but here’s a shout out to all the single gals and guys out there. I’ll be buying myself beautiful flowers on Friday. And tonight – I will have a party for one! I will light the candles, pour myself a glass of wine or two and make myself amazing dinner. So I don’t have anyone special to share it with. But I still have me.


Today’s Theme Song: CYN: I’ll Still Have Me.  

Confessions: The Morning After the Night Before…

With my mind still buzzing away from previous nights frivolities…and the lack of sleep and too much wine was making this particular Friday a very slow one. What had I just done. Did I really just spend the night with a complete stranger.

In true Sam fashion, I started analysing it all. Yes we had good chemistry, he made me feel so comfortable but there was something about Seth that I just couldn’t put my finger on. Was it that he was a cheeky chap…I wasn’t the biggest fan of his accent or grammar (or the lack of) which is saying something because my grammar is also iffy. (Note: English is both of our 2nd language!). Or was it that he became too comfortable too quickly. He didn’t have a job but was doing bits and bobs. I wasn’t sure what the bit’s and bobs were…mind he was running late the night before … lots of questions swirled in my mind and all around.

Mercifully the day ended and I went back to my flat. I needed to pack actually! I was going to be flying out to Australia in a couple of days to be with my elder sister who was about 8.5 months pregnant (and had unfortunately suffered two miscarriages previously). While packing, I realised I had left my beloved statement necklace at Seth’s place. So I sent him a message and asked if I could pick it up or if he could drop it off. (Now I can’t remember what the actual wording was but later in the evening and according to the trained male eye of my flatmate, he said that it was bit of a suggestion / invitation!).

The next thing I know, Seth called, he was going to drop it off and I was grateful because I was shattered and had too many things to organise. So I gave him my address and went about running my errands and eventually settled in for the night watching Planet Earth or something with my flatmate.

Shortly after 10pm, the door bell goes. Patrick (my flatmate at the time) and I looked at each other and I was like oh it’s Seth dropping off the necklace, he’ll be 2 seconds. I opened the door and there he was – dressed in my colours of blues and tan and again there was the smile that I was very much attracted to! But what’s he holing!!!!??? A bottle of red wine!!! It’s 10am. I’m leaving tomorrow! Wait…is this a booty call!?? I said hello and we went into my room so we wouldn’t disturb Patrick.

Seth was there for action and ready to stay! I told him sorry but ‘I need to pack and sleep…’ but he was insisting on just having a glass of wine and then he’d be on his way. After much to’ing and fro’ing, I had to tell him no. He finally accepted it but immediately decided to add me as a friend of Facebook. I kept thinking at this point…could I lie about not having FB? I’ve only just met the guy and yes we’ve done the deed but I don’t really know him!!! In the end, he won and we became Facebook friends that night before I turned him away so he could go back home.

Patrick and I laughed about it and confirming it was a booty call. He did bring my necklace over (phew) but oh well no harm done. Later that night, as I lay in bed…I could hear something. Wait…I think Patrick is pleasuring himself 😉 and I got very hot and bothered and a crazy part of me wanted to knock on his door and give him a helping hand. My head and heart was pounding. NOW OR NEVER I told myself…You have nothing to lose (except an awesome flatmate!) and I marched in my room and went to the loo to listen more carefully but in the end – sanity prevailed and I didn’t take that leap. THANK GOD. That would be an entirely different narrative! Hahaha 🙂

Confessions: Wine with a Tinder Stranger

Where it all ended…or began?

Monday 4th of February 2019 at 00:23 “This is my last message to you. Please drop off my keys tomorrow morning. I will get a locksmith out tomorrow. And if you have any decency, return my money. I hope you’ve made your mother proud you sick son of a bitch”

This was my last text message to my ex-boyfriend of 14 months. I think it was pretty apt and appropriate and civilised given what I was feeling.

Doesn’t seem that long a relationship now that I write it … but when you spend so much time with one person…the 14 months could be like 4 years (not quite 14 years but you get the gist).

Lets call him Seth and lets call me Sam.

Seth and I first met on a wintry night in November in 2017 through the swipe at first sight app ‘Tinder‘. I had been single for about 3 years at this point and my last relationship was on and off spanning over 10 years before we parted ways. He is now unhappily married (more on him later…).

My friends had been urging me to meet someone, I knew I was ready to meet someone new and also I think I had developed a silly crush on my then flatmate – for no other reason except that we were living together and he was lovely.

(Wow – one paragraph – three guys…love freak sounds appropriate now!).

I declared to my flatmate “I am away on a date…I don’t actually feel like going” I confessed. “I’ll stay for a drink and then be back in an hour“. Of course Seth had called to say he was driving back from Perth and running over an hour late! I thought great! Perfect excuse to back out of this terrible idea. “We can just meet some other time” I had replied. But he was still keen to meet so we arranged to meet up at a cool trendy bar at 9.30pm. Now I’m a woman in my 30s . . . 9.30pm is almost bed time! So with an extra hour to kill, I decided to pour myself a cocktail of drinks, paint my nails a sinful red and book an Uber to take me to my date.

Seth was running late by another 20 minutes at this point. I took a seat next to the window and ordered myself a large glass of red wine. I did the whole…lets stare into my phone like something important is going on while I wait for this guy to show up who is already scored a mark off in my books. Anyways almost close to 10pm…this guy walks past the window – he stopped, turned around and gave me a very toothy grin. I loved it. Of course seconds later, he comes in – smells nice, dressed good and hugs me as he introduces himself. And it took about 0.00001 second for me to completely light up from the inside. I liked him. I IMMEDIATELY LIKED HIM.

The rest of the night was a blur – we talked and talked…I had more wine and he had more beer… We discovered we had the SAME birthday (although he was 5 years older than me (or was he??, more later). His surname had two extra letters in front of my surname and his family were Hindu but he was Catholic ….. WTF! This guy was describing ME. Like the male version of me. We valued the same thing. We liked the same things and hated the same things. It was insane! Before we knew it, the last orders were announced as it was closing time. We split the bill (now I personally offered to split the bill but as much as a feminist I am…guys offer to pay the bill on the first date regardless of what I just offered!).

Of course, drunk on wine and beer, we both started feeling hungry and were desperately looking around for a carry out place but it was dead of night. I only live 5 minutes away by uber – do you want to come to mine, he asked. Drunk and infatuated – for the first time in my life, i found myself in a Uber on my way to a complete stranger’s house who I had only met few hours before. This was very not like me!!!

So we get to his and he is a right gentleman, makes me tea – puts a pizza in the oven and we cuddle up on the sofa and kiss a little. But I was SO drunk I stopped anything from going further. But he made me so comfortable (or was it the wine?) that I go into his drawers and pull out his clothes for me to wear. He had smiled when he came in his room and saw me in his clothes. I told him again that I was not feeling well and was of course very drunk. And he was so sweet. He hugged me and kissed me and we slept…for all of 2-3 hours maybe.

Around 4am(ish) I began to sober up a bit and remember snuggling in closer into him. Partially because I was cold and partially because he still smelled nice! I remember him kissing me again and I gave into the kiss. Before I knew it, he was on top of me, taking my / his t-shirt off. He kissed my neck and I remember whimpering in sheer pleasure. In split seconds, he had pulled my trousers and entered me. I remember thinking – oh shit, we’re having sex! He didn’t ask and I didn’t say no. But it was good sex. I remember him being super hard and I enjoyed having him inside me. He had fingered me good as well and it was a powerful. His kisses were sublime and I gave into it.

I woke up at the sound of my alarm at 6.45am. I was working at 9am and needed to get back to my flat soon. Seth had kissed me again when I was trying to wake up and the kiss had turned into more intimate early morning sex. I finally got out of bed to dress and make myself appear presentable again. In the meantime, Seth had gone into the kitchen so he could make me tea and gave me snack while I ordered an uber back to mine. He hugged and kissed me goodbye.

On the taxi ride back home or was it the on my ‘ride of shame’ back home….i thought…shit! Did I just do that? Did I go home with a complete stranger? WTF! I chatted to the driver and remember the stormy weather from the night before has disappeared and in came the beautiful sunny winter’s morning. And I had put the key in to the door as my flatmate was getting out. I screamed good morning to him and jumped into bed while he locked the door and went to work. I didn’t really sleep much…just lay there for a bit thinking about all that had happened. Eventually, I dragged myself up from bed, took a shower and went to work. And that was the beginning of the end.

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