Over and Under…

26th March 2019

Gosh I have not posted anything in so long…..! Sorry Folks. I was clearly not made to be a professional blogger! Haha. Between a full time job, a part time job and a full time MSc that I do in my part time…the blog has suffered.

But also – I think sometimes when the writing stops when the healing starts. Since my last post – I think I am on that healing journey. A lot of the things I have thought about in hindsight. Isn’t hindsight a gift.

It’s been almost two months since I kicked my lovely boyfriend out in the middle of the night after discovering he had been cheating on me with multiple women. There’s lots of research and theories etc etc about why people do it including when in happy relationships.

All I know is that I trusted this person. It was as if we were made for each other but clearly something went wrong somewhere. Maybe it got boring. Maybe there was no ‘chasing’ anymore. Frankly, I don’t know. But as we were intimate the night this all went down, the one thing I found the most difficult was looking back and remembering the happy times. To be honest, all I did have were the good times. Anything I discovered and the reality of it was what I read within that awful hour. It was nothing compared to the millions of hours we spent together.

However, a wise (or an unwise) friend once said, to get over someone – you must get under someone. And folks – I don’t see myself going into a relationship any time soon. So I did what I assume most of you would’ve done once or twice. Go online! But arghhh the effort and work that is needed to get to know and meet a whole new person was just ridiculous so I lasted on Tinder for all of a few hours.

BUT in those few hours, I discovered a man (white, Scottish) who was 18 years my senior!!! Lets call him John (very Scottish ;-)). John and I ended up chatting and exchanged numbers. Because frankly guys my age (early 30s) are on extreme scales. . . or just automatically assume that they would peak my (or any other girls interest) by sending a dick pic. DEAR GUYS – PLEASE STOP. PLEASE STOP SENDING PICS WE’VE NEVER ASKED FOR.

When John and I started chatting – it escalated quickly to a lot of sexting. And the kind that gets you hot and bothered. SOOOO . . . one Friday night, I invited John over. He came in armed with two bottle of wine and I made dinner and was already on my second glass of wine to calm the nerves. But John being a man of experience and wisdom, put me right to ease and just kissed me.

Now his kisses weren’t the best. WHICH I THINK IS PERFECT. You’d want your boyfriend or someone you have fancied forever to kiss you that magical kiss. But what John did give me was a marathon of 5 hours of the best sex I’ve ever had in my life!!! I’ve read it in books and whatnot about these mythical super humans and I didn’t know John was one of those. Coz my GOD it was amazing and of course I told him so.

AND the best thing about this perfect arrangement is – I am not looking for a relationship. Neither his John. His wife actually passed away from cancer 3 year ago and although they were married for a month and half – they had been engaged for 16 years, bought a house together and raised a beautiful daughter who is now 12 years old.  And all the while he was talking a light bulb went off… I’ve MET JOHN BEFORE! That’s why he looked familiar. I was asked by a friend as a favour to facilitate a group of spouses who lost their Partner and 3 years ago I supported him in this group setting. Funny how small the world in.                   

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