The heart is the most precious thing to break… without ever making a sound (Part 2 of 3)

Sunday 3rd February 2019

It was almost 11pm and Seth was blissfully sleeping. I was still lying in his arms, lost in thought as I reflected more on the film Lion. All the crying had left me a little exhausted and my eyes…a bit tired.

As soon as I shut my eyes, I was rudely awoken by the Spotify ads – THRICE now. I had to switch the music off if I were to get any sleep tonight. I gently came out of Seth’s arms and leaned to grab his phones to switch his music off.

He has a much cooler, newer phone that my little iPhone so it took me a wee while to adjust. I managed to stop the music and return to the home page. And that’s when I saw it.

He had a few notifications on Bumble. (For those who don’t know, Bumble is a free dating site). I freaked a little bit. What the hell I thought to myself and clicked on the icon. There were 4 messages here from girls he had matched me. He was telling them how he was now back from holiday and was feeling cold. There was a couple of messages about meeting up.

I went from tired to fully awake in split seconds. Wrapping my head around what I was reading. I needed to find out more. So I randomly went into his WhatsApp and Facebook messages. It was the messages on Facebook actually that made my world stop.

Messages went back days, weeks, months and even maybe years. There were maybe messages from around 7-10 different girls / women.

  • A woman whose flat he left his scarf at
  • A woman who he may have hooked up with during the festival who was living in Poland, another exactly in the same situation in Denmark (more about this later!).
  • There was another woman he met when he was out with his friends
  • There was a woman with the ‘cute baby’
  • Another woman who he gave his address to and invited for a ‘bit of fun’ and to smoke weed
  • Another woman who was on a night out and there were plans to meet at 3am
  • A woman who had a fight with her boss and Seth was on his way in an Uber to her place but she was very upset and didn’t let him in … so he had taken a screenshot of his return ride back to his home and a waste of £14 something.
  • And yet another woman who had now started dating someone else and had politely asked him to back off but he was still pursuing her.

There were others, flirtatious ones. Some more some less than others. . .

Do you remember that utter bliss I had written about from earlier that day. . . that peace, that love, that just being one with someone else. It was all gone.

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