Where it all ended…or began?
Monday 4th of February 2019 at 00:23 “This is my last message to you. Please drop off my keys tomorrow morning. I will get a locksmith out tomorrow. And if you have any decency, return my money. I hope you’ve made your mother proud you sick son of a bitch”
This was my last text message to my ex-boyfriend of 14 months. I think it was pretty apt and appropriate and civilised given what I was feeling.
Doesn’t seem that long a relationship now that I write it … but when you spend so much time with one person…the 14 months could be like 4 years (not quite 14 years but you get the gist).
Lets call him Seth and lets call me Sam.
Seth and I first met on a wintry night in November in 2017 through the swipe at first sight app ‘Tinder‘. I had been single for about 3 years at this point and my last relationship was on and off spanning over 10 years before we parted ways. He is now unhappily married (more on him later…).
My friends had been urging me to meet someone, I knew I was ready to meet someone new and also I think I had developed a silly crush on my then flatmate – for no other reason except that we were living together and he was lovely.
(Wow – one paragraph – three guys…love freak sounds appropriate now!).
I declared to my flatmate “I am away on a date…I don’t actually feel like going” I confessed. “I’ll stay for a drink and then be back in an hour“. Of course Seth had called to say he was driving back from Perth and running over an hour late! I thought great! Perfect excuse to back out of this terrible idea. “We can just meet some other time” I had replied. But he was still keen to meet so we arranged to meet up at a cool trendy bar at 9.30pm. Now I’m a woman in my 30s . . . 9.30pm is almost bed time! So with an extra hour to kill, I decided to pour myself a cocktail of drinks, paint my nails a sinful red and book an Uber to take me to my date.
Seth was running late by another 20 minutes at this point. I took a seat next to the window and ordered myself a large glass of red wine. I did the whole…lets stare into my phone like something important is going on while I wait for this guy to show up who is already scored a mark off in my books. Anyways almost close to 10pm…this guy walks past the window – he stopped, turned around and gave me a very toothy grin. I loved it. Of course seconds later, he comes in – smells nice, dressed good and hugs me as he introduces himself. And it took about 0.00001 second for me to completely light up from the inside. I liked him. I IMMEDIATELY LIKED HIM.
The rest of the night was a blur – we talked and talked…I had more wine and he had more beer… We discovered we had the SAME birthday (although he was 5 years older than me (or was he??, more later). His surname had two extra letters in front of my surname and his family were Hindu but he was Catholic ….. WTF! This guy was describing ME. Like the male version of me. We valued the same thing. We liked the same things and hated the same things. It was insane! Before we knew it, the last orders were announced as it was closing time. We split the bill (now I personally offered to split the bill but as much as a feminist I am…guys offer to pay the bill on the first date regardless of what I just offered!).
Of course, drunk on wine and beer, we both started feeling hungry and were desperately looking around for a carry out place but it was dead of night. I only live 5 minutes away by uber – do you want to come to mine, he asked. Drunk and infatuated – for the first time in my life, i found myself in a Uber on my way to a complete stranger’s house who I had only met few hours before. This was very not like me!!!
So we get to his and he is a right gentleman, makes me tea – puts a pizza in the oven and we cuddle up on the sofa and kiss a little. But I was SO drunk I stopped anything from going further. But he made me so comfortable (or was it the wine?) that I go into his drawers and pull out his clothes for me to wear. He had smiled when he came in his room and saw me in his clothes. I told him again that I was not feeling well and was of course very drunk. And he was so sweet. He hugged me and kissed me and we slept…for all of 2-3 hours maybe.
Around 4am(ish) I began to sober up a bit and remember snuggling in closer into him. Partially because I was cold and partially because he still smelled nice! I remember him kissing me again and I gave into the kiss. Before I knew it, he was on top of me, taking my / his t-shirt off. He kissed my neck and I remember whimpering in sheer pleasure. In split seconds, he had pulled my trousers and entered me. I remember thinking – oh shit, we’re having sex! He didn’t ask and I didn’t say no. But it was good sex. I remember him being super hard and I enjoyed having him inside me. He had fingered me good as well and it was a powerful. His kisses were sublime and I gave into it.
I woke up at the sound of my alarm at 6.45am. I was working at 9am and needed to get back to my flat soon. Seth had kissed me again when I was trying to wake up and the kiss had turned into more intimate early morning sex. I finally got out of bed to dress and make myself appear presentable again. In the meantime, Seth had gone into the kitchen so he could make me tea and gave me snack while I ordered an uber back to mine. He hugged and kissed me goodbye.
On the taxi ride back home or was it the on my ‘ride of shame’ back home….i thought…shit! Did I just do that? Did I go home with a complete stranger? WTF! I chatted to the driver and remember the stormy weather from the night before has disappeared and in came the beautiful sunny winter’s morning. And I had put the key in to the door as my flatmate was getting out. I screamed good morning to him and jumped into bed while he locked the door and went to work. I didn’t really sleep much…just lay there for a bit thinking about all that had happened. Eventually, I dragged myself up from bed, took a shower and went to work. And that was the beginning of the end.